Digital negative, Van Dyke Brown printing
With the final try-outs for the U.S. team coming up, I'm finding myself falling back into my old training habits. Training in the morning, practically dreaming of fighting someone in a match, tying everything in my life back to martial arts. Every movement that I make is in a fighting context. How I grip things, how I stand - I look at it all with a critical eye. It's a place that I was comfortable being in during high school - a part of my identity that I'd let slip away as I went to college.
But then I had a particularly good training session, where everything just felt right. Putting on my armor, flying full-force at someone with my weapon in hand... all of the madness puts me in a surprising state of calm. And now I slowly reclaim an aspect of my existence that I'm not quite complete without.